Saturday 5th November 2007

We set off to go shopping on Saturday morning, whilst going down the road the conversation went like this:

memsahib: I have a confession to make

Simple: OK . . go on

memsahib: Ive done something bad

Simple: OK. . .How much?

memsahib: I have bought a pair of jeans, they were a bit expensive. .

Simple: Oh OK, No worries, let me guess £62? ( picking a ludicrous figure )

memsahib: No more that that. .

Simple: More than £63 !!!! How much?

memsahib: £105. Yes I went to Cinnamon Fashion in Burgess Hill.


Now I have to say at this point I was still calm, it was after all a nice day, the sun was shining and the trees were a blaze of colour. We went for a bacon sandwich at Brighton Vegetable market but they were just closing. So we went to Stanmer Park and it was gorgeous, had a great breakfast and I wondered if GB had been there.

We finished breakfast and went to ASDA at the marina. Went to the new bit upstairs and bought memsahib a pair of trousers £ 12 or £16, nowhere near £105.

The only reason I mention this is to show I was still calm and easy going. Now going shopping with "her" is a total nightmare. The £90 handbag (Harrumph) cuts the number of useful arms to one and her brain when confronted with the choice of more than one item sends itself in to mega tilt mode.

Less calm and less easy going. How long does it take to choose cat food, vegetables and stuff. A very long time that how long. Four times I mentioned my knee was starting to ache so lets not be too long, each time this seemed to produce a deeper comatose state.

Yes, as the trolley filled so the front left wheel got more wonky and so my right knee started to ache more. On reaching the checkout queue I start to unpack and "she" wanders off, leaving me to unpack the trolley. NOT calm NOT easy going.

Helping take the trolley to the car should involve helping to steer the trolley from the side and giving a gently pull. It does not mean resting one hand on the side of the trolley whilst walking in a persistent vegetable state.

But the straw that nearly broke the camels back was when reaching for one of the six bottles of water ( one for each working day and one spare) she said I could not have one.

What a pure utter Cow.

Then Attitude rings and asks for a burger, she says yes and I drive to burger king on the A23. Ringing Attitude back to take the order he says "No not Burger King, make it a MacDonald's" from the centre of Burgess Hill. That then becomes a "Uncle Sams", so I drop her off and go to turn round via the car park down the road.

A quick call to GB restores my spirits. Yes GB, I would be happy to do your ironing provided its set to 3 spots on the irons dial and also set to full steam.

Back to pick her up and now in trouble for being away too long. Seems she had to wait on the pavement for a couple of minutes. Tough.


The day before I said, New car, GTI windows, Tax man, Accountant & one weeks work down, plus the cost of Xmas.

Oh Yes and this evening "Attitude and her" have booked Christmas lunch out at the village pub. £ 50 pounds each. £150 in total.

So you see why I spend the evening thinking why bother. I would rather be anywhere else but here. I don't think I ever realised how intense some people must feel, why so many people go their separate ways.

Some one said to me "where did they go wrong", they meant it light heartedly, I mean it with a passion. Happy Bloody Christmas. . . bah Bloody Humbug.


I feel bad. .

This and my last post make me seem like I am always moaning, and never have anything happy to say.

It's not true actually, the 23rd will be a good day. and Attitude passed his Theory Test ( for the second time ).

The trees look fantastic and my Brother is having his mother for two weeks over Christmas.

Oh Yes I nearly forgot GAL ( Gatwick Airport Limited ) got the Clock Change wrong!!! Ho Ho Ho If your going to muck up lets make it a big public one !!! Nice One Guys.
Bye Folks

Simple of Sussex